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- Artery: The study of paintings
- Appointment - the time you are scheduled to show up in the doctor's office to begin a two-hour wait to see the doctor.
- Cauterize: Made eye contact with her
- CPR (Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation) - really stands for “Cracking Patient's Ribs,” when the chest and ribs are repeatedly squashed in an attempt to wake a patient up.
- Dilate: To live long
- Dietitian - person respo nsible for making sure that food reaching patients is without salt / sugar / fat / carbohydrates / calories, and is cold / soggy / unpalatable / tasteless. Dietitians strive to ensure that hospital food has the consistency and taste of Play-Dough.
- Dose - the amount of medicine it takes to quiet a patient.
- Enema: Not a friend
- Egomegaly: personality disorder common among surgeons, involving extreme self-appreciation (massive ego).
- Eternal Care Unit - the on ly thing above the Intensive Care Unit. Where patients end up after the "beaming up" process.
- Impotent: Distinguished, well known
- Labour: Pain Getting hurt at work
- Midwife - doctor's second wife, coming after the first wife (who was dumped after putting the doctor through long years of schooling) , and before the last wife (the young pretty thing the doctor marries in his declining, senile years).
- Morbid: A higher offer
- Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates
- Outpatient: A person who ha s fainted
- Pharmacist - highly-trained professional who spent five years in college learning how to read doctors' prescriptions and count pills from a big bottle into a little bottle
- Pneumocrania - Airhead
- Post-Operative: Letter carrier
- Radiologist - doctor who prefers to deal with pictures of people rather than the people themselves.
- Tablet: Small table
- Terminal Flatulence (TF) - the production of large amounts of flatus (intestinal gas) from ingestion of dholl puris,beans, onions, cabbage, greens, soya etc. Signs of TF include loss of friends, cracked toilet seats, dying house plants, and rapid emptying of elevators. TF is not a good thing to see written on a roommate's chart when sharing a room
- Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport
- Urine: Opposite of 'you're out'
5 comments:
I just laughed my butt out!
"Pneumocrania - Airhead"
Damn! This is a masterpiece!
reading material yay! :P
lol lol lolll!
totally agree with morinn ;)
* vitamin H: discovered during a lecture conducted by an old senile man who could hardly articulate his words
* high b.p (high blood pressure): high boiling point
pill: battery
surgeon: A tailless fish that specializes in butchery (think sturgeon).
colostomy: A procedure for making a backup anus. Possible side-effects include worsening of TF
Side effect
Having to sell a kidney to cover your bill.
Shock treatment
That mind-numbing moment when you look at your latest medical bill.
Gigantism
The childhood growth disorder that produces the best basketball players.
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