'Arresting' a girl

He was dressed in his black Armani suit, bought on the cheap for Rs 2000 at PrideMark. He had a very good deal for the shirt and the tie too. He could even see his slick oily hair shining on the well polished bata shoes. He couldn't be any classier. Today was gonna be his today, today was the day he was 'arresting' the woman of his life.

His parents were next to him, just to make sure that he didn't run away at the very last second. They arrived at the door. The future in-laws were all lined up for the ceremonial 'tchoumas'. He already had several shades of lipstick on his cheeks, which he lightly wiped with his spot clean white handkerchief. He hesitantly removed his shoes, seeing the fake kashmere rug in the middle of the lounge. He was scared, not about how the 'arrest' would go, but whether there were holes in his sock. What if he had unknowingly picked the wrong pair...nobody would ever pick a guy for their only daughter with holes in his socks.

They were now all seated in the lounge, the boy's family on one side and the girl's family on the other. It was just like a rugby pack, waiting for the ref to blow the whistle to engage into battle. He could barely raise his head; he knew that they were all watching his every movement in the corner of their eyes. He could even see some unknown faces peaking from the curtains from the next room.

The formal 'health status inquiry' followed. They complained about the flu in unison .The next topic was about the weather. The clothes haven't dried for a week. The pep talk about the weather would soon 'dry up'. The future mother-in-law already anticipated that.

'Beh parti ki koter ou rester? ah bonnn, beh ou conne un tel....wiii, chachi un tel so ti zenfant so missier so soeur in marier la ba non....ah boon, ou si ou fami ar li doh babhi....beh nu tombe fami alor...'

The tension suddenly eased. The newly found 'la liane batate' relationship made everybody in a jolly mood. The 'amuse-bouche' was promptly served: ti pate, ti samoussa., ti napolitaine. Everything looked tiny. Eventually, the long-awaited pepsi was served in a silver plate that was used only on special occasions. He wished he could have more of these appetisers but suddenly realised he would have to loosen up his belt if he continued to stuff himself.

The topic of conversation was now about the rising price of milk. The much feared loud silence was imminent. He barely spoke a word, only smiling from time to time. Half an hour had passed and it seemed like an eternity. The ticking of the pendulum seemed to grow louder and louder.

The girl sat opposite to him. They had been lovers for a while, but in this weird environment they were both strangers. The silence was deafening. The time had come.

He presented the ring. He could see their eyes counting the diamonds, some already figured the weight, the carat and the shop from which it was bought. The now 'official' couple posed for the cameras; but most of the pictures were focused on the 4 th finger and the giant white cake. After the photo session, they both moved to another room, with the elders left chatting in the lounge.



He was relieved, he was now one step closer to finally marry the woman of his life. He was now with her, alone...with the hord of little brats still hiding behind the curtains, but it barely mattered. Time stood still again, he never felt that happy.

He could hear from a distance arrangements being made for the wedding: the size of the plate on which the shoes should be 'served', the length of the trail the bride dress should have, discussions about the thousands of guests to be invited... In no time, he grabbed his bata shoes and ran away for freedom.

The end :)